Sen. John Kennedy of Louisiana just revealed that California's Medicaid program will pay healthcare providers to perform exorcisms. With your tax dollars. At this point, we should probably call in an exorcist for the entire state government, because something unholy has clearly taken hold in Sacramento.

The power of Christ compels you — and apparently, so does your federal tax contribution.

Kennedy dropped the bombshell during a Senate Appropriations Subcommittee hearing on the 2027 DOJ budget, grilling Acting Attorney General Todd Blanche on the absurdity of California's Medicaid spending. "California will actually pay a healthcare provider — I didn't know this was a medical expertise — to pay for exorcisms," Kennedy said, barely containing his disbelief.

But exorcisms are just the holy water on top of a very unholy sundae. Kennedy rattled off a list of California Medicaid expenditures that sound like a parody but are tragically real. "California Medicaid program will pay for herbal medicines, meal deliveries. They'll pay for housing. I don't know what housing has to do with healthcare," Kennedy continued.

It gets better. "They'll even pay for gymnasium fees in California. They'll pay for bicycles, scooters, gym memberships. Did you know that?" Kennedy asked Blanche. The Acting AG confirmed: "Yes... Several states do, but California does for sure." When Kennedy brought up student loan repayments through Medicaid, even Blanche had to admit, "I was not aware of the student loans repayment." So the guy running the DOJ is learning about new Medicaid scams in real time. Comforting.

Here's where the numbers really start to sting, according to the Daily Wire. California's Medicaid fund currently sits at $220 billion — and it has doubled since 2019. For every $1 California spends, the federal government kicks in $9. That's our money, folks. Nine dollars out of your pocket for every one Sacramento pretends to contribute.

Vice President JD Vance weighed in on the broader problem, noting that "the state of California has not taken fraud very seriously." Understatement of the century. The Trump administration has already frozen $1.3 billion in federal funds over California's Medicaid shenanigans, and based on what Kennedy just uncovered, that number probably needs a few more zeros.

Let's be clear about what's happening here. California — the state that can't keep its lights on, can't keep its streets clean, and can't keep its residents from fleeing to Texas — has decided that Medicaid should cover everything from gym memberships to bicycle purchases to literal demon removal. Meanwhile, working families in red states are paying the bill.

Your federal tax dollars are funding exorcisms in California. If that doesn't make you feel like the system is possessed, nothing will.