We’ve officially entered the part of the timeline where the man who once ran the most powerful law enforcement agency on planet Earth is racking up indictments faster than a three-time felon at a parole hearing. James Comey — former FBI Director, sworn enemy of Donald Trump, and Instagram’s least talented seashell photographer — just got indicted again. This time, prosecutors are circling back to his infamous “86 47” social media post, and the timing couldn’t be more brutal for old Jim. Because when an actual assassin just opened fire at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, suddenly your cute little coded threat about “eliminating” the 47th president doesn’t look so cute anymore.
You know what’s funnier than a 6’8″ former FBI director arranging seashells on a beach to spell out a death threat? Watching him explain to a judge — for the second time — that it was just arts and crafts. “Your Honor, I was simply expressing my love of marine biology and numerology.” Sure, Jim. And O.J. was just looking for the real killer.
Let’s rewind for the folks who mercifully missed this the first time around. Back in 2024, Comey posted a photo to Instagram showing seashells arranged to read “86 47.” Now, in normal-person language, “86” means to get rid of something. It’s what a bartender says when you’ve had too many. “47” is, of course, the 47th President of the United States — Donald J. Trump. So the former head of the FBI posted what any reasonable person would interpret as a call to eliminate the sitting president, then hid behind the world’s thinnest alibi: “I was just counting shells!”
The first indictment came and most of us figured that was that. Comey would lawyer up, the case would drag through the courts, and eventually we’d all move on to the next outrage. But then some lunatic actually tried to assassinate people at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner on April 26th, and suddenly every single person who ever winked at political violence from behind a keyboard got a very uncomfortable spotlight pointed directly at their posting history.
And whose posting history looks worse than James Comey’s? The man literally ran the FBI. He knows — better than almost anyone alive — what stochastic terrorism looks like. He knows how lone wolves get radicalized. He knows that coded language and plausible deniability are the exact tools used by people who want violence but don’t want fingerprints. He knows all of this because he used to brief presidents about it. And then he went home and posted seashell threats on Instagram like a teenager trying to be edgy on 4chan.
The fresh indictment dropped on April 28th, just two days after the WHCD shooting, and prosecutors are clearly drawing a direct line between the climate of incitement and the actual bullets that flew. Whether or not Comey’s post directly inspired anyone is almost beside the point. When you’re the former Director of the FBI and you post thinly veiled threats against a president, you don’t get to act surprised when the legal system treats you like someone who posted thinly veiled threats against a president.
Here’s what kills me about this whole saga. Comey spent years — YEARS — building a case that Donald Trump was a threat to democracy. He leaked memos. He testified before Congress. He wrote a book. He did a book tour. He went on every cable news show that would have him and explained, in his very serious baritone voice, why Trump was dangerous and unfit for office. He was the resistance’s favorite G-man. Their lanky, self-righteous hall monitor who was going to save the republic from the big bad orange man.
And now? Now the guy who investigated Trump is the one getting indicted. Again. The hunter became the hunted, and then became the hunted again because he apparently didn’t learn anything the first time. It’s like watching a man step on a rake, get hit in the face, look down at the rake, and then deliberately step on it again because he’s convinced the rake is wrong.
The Left, predictably, is calling this political persecution. They say it’s Trump weaponizing the DOJ against his enemies. Which is rich coming from the same people who cheered when the FBI raided Mar-a-Lago over some boxes in a bathroom. When Trump gets raided, it’s “accountability.” When Comey gets indicted, it’s “fascism.” Funny how that works.
But here’s the part we need to sit with, folks. The WHCD shooting changed the calculus on all of this. Before April 26th, you could maybe — maybe — argue that Comey’s post was just a tasteless joke from a bitter ex-bureaucrat. After April 26th? After someone actually tried to kill people at a political event? That argument is dead. It’s not a joke when the punchline involves real bullets.
Comey had one job after leaving the FBI: fade into dignified retirement, maybe teach a class at Columbia, write another self-aggrandizing memoir, and collect speaking fees from corporate events where nobody actually listens to the speaker. That’s what normal former FBI directors do. Instead, he chose to become a resistance influencer, posting cryptic threats on social media and then acting shocked — SHOCKED — when people took him seriously.
We’re living in a world where the former head of the FBI is facing his second indictment while the current president is actually getting things done. Let that sink in. The man who was supposed to be the adult in the room turned out to be the guy arranging seashells into death threats on a public beach.
James Comey wanted to be remembered as the principled lawman who stood up to a tyrant. Instead, he’ll be remembered as the tallest defendant in federal court who couldn’t stop posting through it. Couldn’t have happened to a more deserving guy
